By Gifty Xornam Adonoo
June every year is set aside for the acknowledgment and appreciation of fathers around the world, just as it is done for mothers in the month of May. It is well noticed that the attention span of the celebration of Mother’s Day cannot be compared to that of the fathers, who are originally known to be the “backbones” of every family. Today, the world celebrates fathers and I engaged some fathers on their role in the journey of fatherhood.
First of all, I throw light on a man who has been in the meat roasting business, popularly known as the “abokyi” for over two decades. Joseph Saman, a father of six. He grew up as an orphan, and that made his childhood a difficult one. With this experience, he wanted a different life for his children, but it was a challenging journey.
“My parents gave birth to four children, but three of them passed away. I, therefore, decided to give birth to ten children to make up for my parents’ loss, but because of life’s financial uncertainties, I ended up giving birth to six children. I decided to work extremely hard to make ends meet to take care of the children. I struggled and managed to get one to the university. She was the younger one. As there was not enough money, I had to work harder to provide for my family. I worked at one “company” for a while and managed to raise the money and pushed her through to the university. She successfully graduated from the university with second-class honours.”
A lecturer at the Daniel Institute at Central University, Dr. Charles Owiredu, says it is important to introduce a responsible father figure in the life of a child, especially a male child, so they learn what being a father is like.
“In real life, looking at our societies today, many of our fathers are not there. Many mothers feel they can do the work of the father and mother and that is an impossible task. God in His wisdom decided that a mother and a father takes care of the child so if you are a woman and you are struggling bringing up a child thinking you can do it on your own, I think you are getting it wrong. Find a father figure, an uncle, a brother, a friend, a very good genuine person in church to help father your son. That is an aspect we have to look at to get a good society. Looking at our challenges and all those, many men are in charge and a good father can manage businesses very well, a good father can manage whatever you give him very well outside parenting. And if you see people messing things up in society, then know they have not been properly fathered.”
Dr. Owiredu said, the whole idea of producing an ideal father is very important because a fatherless society is not a society at all. It breaks down eventually. He called on all fathers to wake up now.
Security Consultant, Yasin Damba, said some experiences and culture are the major factors that play a role in a child becoming an irresponsible father. He said the modern-day culture has idolized men and portrayed women as servants.
“The young generation growing up, we must be able to change the narrative. If you grow up in a society or a family where you realise that the father is irresponsible, you will grow up thinking you are going to be the opposite to your father because a fatherly figure is what is building our societies together. If fathers fail, our societies are doomed. So there’s a responsibility on us. The reason why we have irresponsible fathers is because of culture. Culture has groomed men in such a way that they feel that they need to serve, they want to be served. So all the time, their responsibility is to bring forth the children, and the women have to do the fatherly work and take care of them. About 80% of fathers who are irresponsible are from experiences they pick up from their upbringing. It is just a replica of who they are from their culture and it is only a few that will say no, I don’t want to be like this because it is an act of irresponsibility, unfair and unjust society. Because of that, I want to be the opposite of it.”
They advised fathers to have time and teach the younger generation the right way of fatherhood.
As the world celebrates Father’s Day, it is important to acknowledge the vital role fathers play in the family structure and society at large. The celebration of Father’s Day should serve as a reminder for all fathers to step up and actively engage in their children’s lives. By being present, teaching the younger generation about responsible fatherhood, and challenging cultural norms, fathers can contribute to the growth and well-being of their families and society as a whole.
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Father’s lay down the foundation of a family, community and country at large