By Dzifa Tetteh Tay
Infertility affects millions of people worldwide, yet it remains a topic shrouded in silence and stigma. For many women trying to conceive, the bathroom can be a painful reminder of disappointment. It is where pregnancy tests are usually first taken, and where tears of sadness and frustration often fall when the test turns out negative.
This period in a woman’s life is marked by uncountable emotions that are usually inexplicable and negative. The question of “why me?” echoes strongly, making her wonder why her story can’t be one of smiles, like it has been for others.
But it is not only women who are affected, men also are, whether as partners of women battling infertility or they themselves being infertile.
The Emotional Earthquake of Infertility
A Medical Director of the International Fertility Group (IFG) and an internationally recognized Fertility Specialist, Dr. Uliana Dorofeyeva notes, “Infertility is not just a diagnosis. It is an emotional earthquake. It shakes up how you see yourself, your body, and even your future.”
With over 20 years of experience in fertility, she acknowledged that individuals trying to conceive often feel like they could no longer recognize themselves. “And the aftershocks show up in everyday life—at work, in conversations with friends and in your relationships with partners.”
The Loneliness of Infertility
Dr. Dorofeyeva highlights the special kind of loneliness that comes with wanting something so deeply and not being able to explain why it’s not working. “Even people with supportive families often feel incredibly alone in this” she said.
She revealed how this sense of isolation can quietly erode even the strongest partnerships. “When it comes to couples, infertility can either become a wedge or a reason to draw closer. But that takes intention” she said.
Coping with Infertility
The Fertility Specialist explained that people coped differently, leading to one partner wanting to talk while the other wants to shut down. Some may devour every article on the topic, while others avoid it altogether. “Although the love is there, sometimes it gets lost in the silence” she revealed.
Finding Strength: Coping Mechanisms
Dr. Dorofeyeva advised individuals trying to conceive to first give themselves permission to feel everything, including anger, grief, jealousy, and numbness. “These feelings are not ‘bad’ emotions—they are human ones. Naming these feelings is like opening a window to a stuffy room. It doesn’t fix everything, but it helps you breathe again” she explained.
She encouraged individuals to become informed, but not obsessed, with their fertility journey. “The unknown is terrifying. But understanding the steps, the options, the risks—it gives you a structure to hold on to.”
Self-Care
The Fertility Specialist stressed that no one should go through infertility alone. “You don’t need a huge circle. Sometimes one person who really listens is enough. Whether it’s your partner, a friend, a pastor, or a trusted elder—choose someone who listens with their heart.”
She emphasized the importance of self-care, encouraging individuals to make time for hobbies, fresh air, and music to help them feel good before medical appointments. “And when it gets too heavy, take a break. You are allowed to pause. Healing is not linear. Some days you will feel strong. Other days, broken. Both are real. Both are part of this” she advised.
Couples’ Support
Dr. Dorofeyeva advised couples to prioritize their relationship and work to make it stronger by building intentional habits of connection instead of fighting each other. “Talk about how you are feeling—not just about what the doctor said today. Ask each other, ‘how is your heart?’ Sit with the answer, even when it’s hard” she stated.
She encouraged couples to make decisions together and not let one person carry the emotional burden. “Be partners in this. Not just patients. Find joy where you can. Go for a walk. Dance in the kitchen. Watch a silly movie. You are allowed to laugh. Infertility doesn’t take away your right to joy.”
The Journey to Parenthood
Dr. Dorofeyeva noted that the road to parenthood was often long, but not always in the way people think. “It’s not just about how many months or years it takes. It’s the emotional journey that stretches time.”
She clarified that while some journeys begin with a diagnosis, others begin with a whisper of doubt. “But they all involve choice, courage, and a thousand small decisions. That’s why the doctor’s role isn’t just to prescribe. It’s to walk alongside” she said.
Conclusion
If you are struggling with infertility, remember that seeking help is the first step toward healing. Do not be afraid to reach out to a healthcare professional, support group, or trusted friend or family member.
One Response
Is a silent killer